There comes a time in one's life when you must ask yourself, would I really be prepared if the living dead were to re-animate and begin feasting on the flesh of my friends and family? This unavoidable reality is explored in the Zombie Survival guide, as well as the strategies and defense techniques that you will need to make it through this approaching apocalypse. Let's just say the first thing I did after reading a few chapters of this book was to go out and buy a huge fucking machete from Wal Mart for six bucks. After selecting my weapon of choice, I began training immediately with a strict cardio and strength regimen, while also brushing up on other killing techniques. Thanks to this book, I'm not going to be caught with my dick in my hands when zombies break down my door and try to bite up my shit.
The book even touches upon zombie-human sexual relations, although unfortunately not in as much detail as a man of my carnal urges would prefer. My point being, if the dreaded doomsday scenario occurs, and there are barely any human survivors left, what am I gonna hump? We all know that hot chicks aren't very smart so it's obvious that they will be some of the first to get bitten and turned into mindless, flesh craving drones (even more than they already are). I'm a goddamn man and I have needs to be met, for fuck sake! We could only get by for so long boning all the fatties and uggos (ugly skanky bitches) that survive the initial zombie attack. A time will come when we'll all have to make the decision whether or not to bone down with some hot zombie sluts, and I know that I will be ready to make the right choice.
